Day 2: Blandfast & Lunchbeer

Pennsylvania is a freaking long state. Even though we crossed the border well before noon, we had another 6-plus hours to go.

It’s funny to see what the marketing department of each state comes up with as their slogan. We’ve got “Pure Michigan” and Tim Allen voiceovers. For Pennsylvania, it’s “Smile, You’re in Pennsylvania.”



We avoided fast food, but our approach to picking restaurants was haphazard. When hungry, we’d ask the locals for suggestions, and if we couldn’t find a place, we’d stop at the nearest pub or diner. This gave mixed results, as illustrated by our first choice, an all-you-can-eat buffet.

There are two things I expect from a buffet. One is variety. The second is speed. Variety they had. Speed, they did not.

There was plenty of food, but it was bland. Even the fresh-baked fruit pies were boring. The only two standouts were at the cold bar. There was some feta cheese in the potato salad, and the three-bean salad was a tasty balance of sour and sweet.

For a place where the food was hot and ready, which had maybe half a dozen customers, the service was glacial. We were invisible our first five minutes in the diner. In fact, we had to move tables before someone noticed us.

One last observation on the meal: The sausage and saukraut was disturbingly tender. If I applied any pressure with my fork tines, the sausage gave way. It was as if it was made for someone with no teeth.

Thankfully, getting some expert advice later in the day made for a much better meal.

Surfing the Web with my phone, I found a place near Penn State called Otto’s, which looked promising. Given our earlier meal, we wanted a second opinion. I tweeted a friend who’s a Penn State alumnus, and he seconded Otto’s. That cinched it. We took a 20-minute detour for beer and snacks.

We had fondue, crab dip, and two beer sampler trays. It was great pub fare: Not too fancy, but distinctive and delicious.


Otto’s brews their own beer on site—about a dozen varieties. The samplers were a great way for us to try many styles without getting sloshed.

The fondue was a beer-cheddar variety, served with chewy, crusty sourdough. I love this type of fondue anyways, but the added dill seed was unexpected and delicious.

Crab dip is so simple that it’s easy to mess up. This one was well-balanced: It started with a full block of cream cheese, plus a hefty portion of real crab, and a liberal amount of Old Bay. Spicy, creamy, crabby, and rich.

We left Otto’s, dreamily, our arteries leaden, the smell of hot mash drifting through our nostrils.

Fondue+Grilling = Raclette

This weekend I discovered Raclette. Raclette is a mild cheese from Switzerland, but it's also a style of dining, similar to fondue. In fondue, you either use oil broth as a cooking medium, or you melt cheese and wine together and dip fresh veggies and such into the mix.

For Raclette, you use a grill to get the meats and veggies toasty warm and golden,and a broiler to melt your cheese. You pour the unadulterated, melty cheese over everything, and drink wine with the meal.

It was love at first bite.

I think that nothing will quite replace fondue in my heart, but this method comes close. It has a few advantages over fondue, in fact. One, it's easier for a large number of people to cook their stuff. Just put it on the grill and turn it, no entangled fondue forks. Two, it's great for vegans or meat-eaters. The cheese is optional and you cook it yourself, so someone who doesn't eat cheese can still participate. Three, the meat (usually smoked sausage and hams) and veggies are all pre-cooked, so you're just warming it up, so there's much less of a concern about food safety. Four, you choose whatever wine you want to drink, and aren't forced into having a certain wine because that's the wine in the fondue.

Also, it's more summery than fondue, what with the grilling and all, and can be adapted to a variety of textures and flavors.

There are, of course, specialized Raclette grills and utensils and suchlike, but it wouldn't be too hard to adapt a barbecue grill for the same purpose.

For further research, check out Raclette grills at Amazon, and some traditional and non-traditional Raclette recipes.

Leave fondue alone!

Do people make fun of fondue anymore? Really?

I don't think so. Most people have finally realized the truth of fondue: It's cheese melted in wine! If people want to shun it, fine: more cheese melted in wine for me!

Also, there is the social aspect of fondue. It's great for a party because it feeds a fairly large number of people (I'd say up to a dozen, comfortably), and it's a very social way of eating. For a three-course fondue meal (hot oil, cheese, and dessert) you can easily spend an hour or more hanging out at the table.

I've pretty much been a fondue fan my entire life, and was making fondue from my mom's fondue book from the 70's. So I've never thought fondue to be out of vogue. But here's my advice if you are throwing a fondue party.

1. Skip the hot oil fondue. Stick with cheese and chocolate. Deep-fried pieces of lobster and fillet might sound good, but you've got a lot of other issues to watch out for--like splattering oil, and raw meat which can cause cross-contamination. Also, if you really want to make the most of your hot oil fondue experience, you need to make lots of complex sauces and batters. It's a lot of work for a small reward, in my opinion. Besides, you can do lobster and filet in many other ways that aren't nearly as time-consuming.

2. Don't overdo it on the dippers or the fondues. Have maybe two or three dippers for each fondue. Even if you're serving a crowd, have only two cheese fondues, and two chocolate fondues, at most.

3. Buy most of your ingredients, vegetables especially, pre-cut, or in bite-sized portions. Most grocery stores have bags of pre-cut, pre-washed vegetables, and baby carrots are the perfect size to dip into cheese. You want to do as little prep as possible for the fondue.

4. Prep your ingredients before guests arrive, or ask them to help. Most everything in fondue can be prepared in advance, and then you combine it all right before you want to eat. Even if your guests aren't terribly handy in a kitchen, most people can chop things into large chunks.

5. Consider doing a non-traditional fondue. Traditional fondue uses swiss cheese and sauternes (a white wine). Most of my friends aren't fond of swiss. So our go-to fondue is cheddar based, and uses beer or hard cider as the alcohol. For dessert, a white chocolate or chocolate-raspberry fondue can be very nice.

6. Electric fondue pots are better. For cheese fondue especially, you need precise heat control. You can get away with a sterno fondue set for chocolate fondue, but you may need to blow out the flame if it gets too hot.

7. Borrow the fondue pots. If you don't have a fondue pot, don't go out and buy one right away. Almost everyone married from 1972 onward recieved a fondue pot as a wedding gift. And, sadly, they probably haven't used it since 1973. So ask your parents, aunt, or friends if you can borrow their electric fondue pot for the occasion.